| Of five-A-M musings |

I'm awake. It's five in the morning and I've been awake for an hour and a half now. Is this what insomnia feels like? Or is this just God trying to tell me something?

While in my awake state of mind, I found myself scanning through facebook when I stumbled upon a familiar face. My old roommate and housemate Chris Jardin is now on facebook. For as long as I've known Chris, he's wanted to be a pirate, he's been unpredictable, and he's been a wanderer. By perusing through some of his musings, it seems that he's doing some pretty wonky wandering. http://chrisjardin.wordpress.com/

But, alas, he's hardly what I'm concerned about in this five-A-M blog. Having gone our separate ways a few years back, he is merely the archetype of a wanderer. It's something God has had me thinking about since September as we studied A Canticle for Leibowitz (Miller Jr) and City of God (Saint Augustine). The idea that God has his people as wanderers in this wonky world is certainly an interesting one to ponder.

I guess at this point I want to distinguish and fine tune what it is I mean. I think we can all agree that we're all going somewhere and doing something. We all have goals - whether they be big or small remains a mute point - and we all move toward them. Some goals are more noble or lofty than others, but again, a mute point. But this is fundamentally different than being wanderers. Nomads, sojourners, pilgrims, these might be better words.

I think as Christians we might point to heaven as this destination point. But again I think that we're called to sojourn on this earth in the flesh, and I don't think we can ever muster up our own strength to meander our way to heaven (sorry Pelagians). I guess this boils down to 'running the race with endurance' - a phrase in the book of Hebrews. Perseverance even when it's hard. Pressing on, pressing on, ever pressing on. But to where?

I can't really say. Part of what I'm struggling with is the where. And when I get there, it's far too easy to settle down, hunker down, and prepare to stay a long time. But does the journey not continue? Perhaps the journey is how it all begins, but too soon we stop moving, our feet become heavy, and we settle down into mundane repetition. I can't say that I'm looking forward to that.

Perhaps this is the danger of the church. We can look back through Israel's history as a wandering people led by God. Yet as soon as they reached their goal (the promised land) they stopped looking to God for his leading. The settled down, laid down roots, and took up idols. Maybe churches begin this way, taking the Great Commission of Matthew 28 to heart, or they forgot that they were witness in Jerusalem, Judea, Samaria, and the ends of the earth (Acts 1:8). If the early church had stopped their journey short - say around Judea - they would never have spread to Samaria, to Syria, to Asia, and to Macedonia. But the early church pressed on and pushed out.

I don't want to stop short and miss out on the journey.

I don't want to plant a church only then to sit in a building and idly pass the time.

I want to go places and meet people who need God, and then invite them to journey at my side until God reveals the path he has for them.

Alas. As I clear the air and give way to a good rant, I am drowsy anew. Praise God.